The Brokenness of Apostolic Office

There is just no understanding it until you have gone through it yourself. You can write about as many principles as you like. You can boast as many churches and ministries as you like, but there is nothing quite like just walking out apostolic office.

There comes a certain humility and reality walking out a call that some would deem to be the “highest” in the body of Christ. So pray tell, explain to me why most days it feels like I am dangling at the end of the ladder? Is it because that as an apostle I am meant to take an impossible situation and turn it into something incredible or is it because I am called to face the impossible so that it’s possible for others?

Like I said - you don’t get it until you walk it our for yourself. It’s not all glory guys and when you see someone trying to impose their title on you without the humility and brokenness of apostolic office to back it up, you are looking at a fraud.

This is not an easy walk. It is a walk of brokenness and being shaped into what God wants you to be each moment of the day. It is a walk with the greatest reward you could ask for - an intimate relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. To walk hand in hand with Him through your process. To look into His eyes and see nothing else but an ocean of understanding of grace.

The prize for walking in this office is not the praise or adoration of men. Quite the opposite. The more you walk it out, usually the more people you upset. No, you walk it out because the author and finisher of your faith picked you up by His hand and set you on your feet.

He put you up high, when you deserved the ditch. He put you out front when you deserved last place.

Until what you do, say, and walk is to honor the Lord, you will never understand the true power of apostolic office.

Because at the end of the day, the books I have written will fade. The revelations I got will disappear but what will remain is what I invest into other. Into their hearts. Every person I bring closer to Christ. Every life I inspire to take His hand.

We get so complicated sometimes, so let’s get back to the cornerstone. What will you, an apostle, leave behind for the generations to come? A great structure, charismatic personality or a famous name? Maybe I’m naive, but I want to leave Jesus for the next Generation. Hearts that hunger for Him. Lives that honor Him. Minds that seek Him out. A Generation that puts Him above their pride, flesh and worldly desires. Naive perhaps, but determined nonetheless.

We were, after all, created to love Him. When all is said and done, shouldn’t this adoration be the defining character of our mandates? Imagine for a moment such a church. NOW we are starting a movement!

-Colette Toach